The New York
Times recently made waves with an article
on the quirky habits people develop after living alone for a while. Years
earlier, Sex and the City had an
episode dedicated to these quirky, often embarrassing habits- otherwise known as secret single
behavior. My lifestyle is now a
far cry from the singlehood described in The New York Times and Sex and the City but alas, secret quirky behavior has not left. I now have “Secret Mom Behaviors”. No, I do not mean the kind in which you
fill a sippy cup with wine and hide it in your diaper bag. I mean the embarrassing actions you do
with (or to) your kids that you may or may not even let your husband see. I have a few I am willing to share
today.
I sing. I sing a lot.
I
read all the research on developing vocabulary in babies- talk out loud while
doing everyday activities, talk while you are in another room and let them know
you are still there, etc.
Apparently, I have decided to SING instead. Why do I sing and not
talk? I have no idea, I picked up
the habit after giving birth.
Sadly, I am not at ALL creative- "Momma’s taking a shower, da da
de dah, Momma’s taking a shower,
Cuz she smells so bad..."
I am fairly certain the researchers
did not intend for me to let my baby girl think I smell, or encourage that kind
of language in her sponge like mind, whoops.
Dance Party All The Time!
This actually was
a secret single behavior, then secret husband-is-out-of-town behavior and now
as a Mom I have a partner- whew hoo- dance party 24-7!! We jam to Rhianna, Pink, GLEE and other
ridiculous pop music- she giggles, laughs and points (hmm... is she laughing AT
me or with me?) Add another Mom fail to the list- bad vocabulary and cheezy pop
music. Sorry baby girl, Mozart just is not that fun to dance to.
Photo Shoots (Not the Good
Kind)
I hesitate to
write this one and perhaps should keep it a secret from world, but c'est la vie... (How is THAT
for vocabulary, researchers??) Everyone loves taking pictures of their kids,
especially their first. But... I
may take it a little too far...
● Bunny
ears from the 99cent store? Yes,
please.
● Funny
mustache sticker above her lip?
Hell yeah!
● Stick
hair straight up like she was shocked- (Um... YES! sorry baby girl...)
I do not share
these kind of photos on Facebook or with family- ahem *Secret Mom Behavior*.
Perhaps, one day when my baby girl is older and wondering why she sings outloud
during her mundane activities, shakes her booty at any pop song on the radio- I
will show her these photos and apologize- “Sorry honey, you had a nut bag of
a Momma, but she sure does love you oodles”.
Well, those are
the only three behaviors I am willing to share! I will leave you with one of my
favorite songs before I go- The New York Times quotes a woman in the article: “I never, ever close the
bathroom door.” Well singletons, neither do I - but while I am in there you
can hear me singing loudly- “Momma's gotta pee, la de dah da, Momma’s gotta pee”.
Do you have a
secret Mom behavior**? Maybe you
like your baby's food and eat it? Chew their food & stick it in their mouth a la Alicia Silverstone? Or dress them in Daddy's clothes for fun?
Or....?
**I say Mom because that is what I am- I am sure lots of Dads have these too, so please share them! BUT, I don't really want to know that my husband's secret behavior is how high he can throw Kalia in the air and catch her. I suspect this is one of his, but, I rather live in ignorance.
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