Secret Mom Behaviors- Kinda Like Secret Single Behaviors But Worse- Children are Involved!


The New York Times recently made waves with an article on the quirky habits people develop after living alone for a while. Years earlier, Sex and the City had an episode dedicated to these quirky, often embarrassing habits-  otherwise known as secret single behavior.  My lifestyle is now a far cry from the singlehood described in The New York Times and Sex and the City but alas, secret quirky behavior has not left.  I now have “Secret Mom Behaviors”.  No, I do not mean the kind in which you fill a sippy cup with wine and hide it in your diaper bag.  I mean the embarrassing actions you do with (or to) your kids that you may or may not even let your husband see.  I have a few I am willing to share today.

I sing.  I sing a lot.
             I read all the research on developing vocabulary in babies- talk out loud while doing everyday activities, talk while you are in another room and let them know you are still there, etc.  Apparently, I have decided to SING instead. Why do I sing and not talk?  I have no idea, I picked up the habit after giving birth.  Sadly, I am not at ALL creative- "Momma’s taking a shower, da da de dah,  Momma’s taking a shower, Cuz she smells so bad..."
I am fairly certain the researchers did not intend for me to let my baby girl think I smell, or encourage that kind of language in her sponge like mind, whoops.

Dance Party All The Time!
This actually was a secret single behavior, then secret husband-is-out-of-town behavior and now as a Mom I have a partner- whew hoo- dance party 24-7!!  We jam to Rhianna, Pink, GLEE and other ridiculous pop music- she giggles, laughs and points (hmm... is she laughing AT me or with me?) Add another Mom fail to the list- bad vocabulary and cheezy pop music. Sorry baby girl, Mozart just is not that fun to dance to.

Photo Shoots (Not the Good Kind)
I hesitate to write this one and perhaps should keep it a secret from world, but c'est la vie... (How is THAT for vocabulary, researchers??) Everyone loves taking pictures of their kids, especially their first.  But... I may take it a little too far...
      Bunny ears from the 99cent store?  Yes, please.
      Funny mustache sticker above her lip?  Hell yeah!
      Stick hair straight up like she was shocked- (Um... YES! sorry baby girl...)

I do not share these kind of photos on Facebook or with family- ahem *Secret Mom Behavior*. Perhaps, one day when my baby girl is older and wondering why she sings outloud during her mundane activities, shakes her booty at any pop song on the radio- I will show her these photos and apologize- “Sorry honey, you had a nut bag of a Momma, but she sure does love you oodles”.

Well, those are the only three behaviors I am willing to share! I will leave you with one of my favorite songs before I go- The New York Times quotes a woman in the article: “I never, ever close the bathroom door.”  Well singletons, neither do I - but while I am in there you can hear me singing loudly- “Momma's gotta pee, la de dah da,  Momma’s gotta pee”. 

Do you have a secret Mom behavior**?  Maybe you like your baby's food and eat it? Chew their food & stick it in their mouth a la Alicia Silverstone? Or dress them in Daddy's clothes for fun? Or....?

**I say Mom because that is what I am- I am sure lots of Dads have these too, so please share them! BUT, I don't really want to know that my husband's secret behavior is how high he can throw Kalia in the air and catch her. I suspect this is one of his, but, I rather live in ignorance.

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21 comments :

  1. Oh - what a lucky child you have! And such great blackmail pis - just in case you ever need them... :)

    Thanks for linking up to #findingthefunny!

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    1. Thank you Anna!! Also, thanks for the link party, so glad I found it today!

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  2. obviously I have been smiling about your post all day... it is good to have found another crazy mama!

    But tell me, have you been crazy enough to modify entire songs?

    http://www.weakandloved.com/2011/12/i-put-my-own-words-to-this-song-some.html

    and also

    http://www.weakandloved.com/2012/01/taylor-swift-my-crazy-life-this-song.html

    Now if i could only find someone willing to sing them for me and put it on you tube...

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    1. Lol, I can't say tht I have done that, Emily. But giveme time, she's only nine and a half months, I think I have a lot of crazy waiting for me, lol.

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  3. Hahaha I can't wait to learn what weird things I'm going to do now that I live alone! Exciting.

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    1. LOL, do not keep them secret, you must make funny comics on them!

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  4. :) these are all little things that make being a mama so much fun! because we CAN do them. ;)

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    1. Thank you Christina, these moments are definitely the fun parts!

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  5. I sing and dance too! My kids loved it when they were babies. Now the older ones are trying to get me to stop...I don't think so!

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  6. Bahahahah....I have earthquake drills...

    I scream a siren sound and shout "Earthquake, earthquake" and then the kids duck and cover...

    We are in an earthquake prone zone though...but I do it because it's fun to watch the kids scramble while their totally engrossed in some other activity LOL.

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    1. LOL, that is awesome, Carrie, I think I will steal this for when she is older.

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  7. I send the kids text messages every Friday quoting Rebecca Black's "It's Friday" song. This drives them crazy. I make them watch me play Dance Central and probably the worst Dad behavior? I make them fetch me a beer....But, my kids are older...

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    1. Texting- it is a whole new method of embarrassing kids now!
      Fetching a beer is a great idea, I just do not think she has the motor skills yet (and well, she cannot walk, lol)

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  8. Haha, I loved this!
    I am definitely a silly picture taker, but I plaster them all over facebook. Possibly because all of my family lives on the other side of the Country, but it's also possibly just because I want to make sure there a lot of copies out there to embarrass him with at his wedding. ;-)
    Great post!

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    1. Thank you Dawn! I have so many blackmail pictures, but I cannot help it- too cute!!

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  9. Hi,thanks so much for linking up the Mommy Brain mixer! Funny!!! Love your secret life!! My secret behavior is to steal my kids' chocolates!! :P

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  11. Stopping by from the mixer. I have secret dance parties too! Katy Perry is our favorite to dance to.

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  12. I can't think of a secret act that I do right now off the top of my head. However, I do find that her pacifer is all the time ending up in my mouth.

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  13. We have dance party every night while I cook dinner. I made up a song for my son that goes, "Who's my chunky? Who's my hunky? Who's my monkey little man?" And I may or may not have a photo of my daughter wearing nothing but a winter hat, sunglasses, a pull-up, and sneakers.

    You are most definitely not alone. And I sure am glad to know that I'm not alone, too.

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